This may take more than one margarita... I’m employed on a mountain called Vesuvius. One minute you’re employed, the next minute wiped out by a flow of magma. Magma is unpredictable. There is no safe place. Fear of being crisped by hot lava, caused some to flee. Most of us at the job feel our … Continue reading Self Induced Midlife Crisis

Oh, dear, God, One word today, plastic. Why did You let plastic be invented if it would eventually muck up the world? I said “muck” as in filth. I’m also wondering, though, if we’ll be mucked if we keep generating plastic garbage. You knew that polymers wouldn’t biodegrade like grass clippings. Of course I don’t … Continue reading Plastic Paradise

Hello and goodbye used to be so easy... My family believes I communicate by smoke signals. They think my phone needs updated. Clearly, they aren’t thinking. When the art of miscommunication has been mastered with no Gs, why pay for four Gs? I’ve answered the phone in the voice of the Soup Nazi. I was … Continue reading The Art of Miscommunication

As you wish princess... A long time ago in a land far away, there lived a princess. The princess had a dog named Elroy. When Elroy lost a puppy tooth, the princess vowed to save the tooth forever and ever. It was a good thing because Elroy picked up a bug that made him sick. … Continue reading The Princess and the Tooth

Oh, dear, God...   Tattoos, I like them. You know I’ve acquired a few. There are people who say, “If God wanted you to have tattoos, you’d have been born with them.” This type of comment usually comes from people with pierced ears. I like to point out, nicely and with no snide intentions, that … Continue reading Individuality

Oh, dear, God... Since I’m going to be talking to You a lot more, we need to discuss language. The other day when we talked about rulers, I know You saw the slip in my head when I almost said, “What in the hell are You thinking with some of these guys!” Sorry about that. … Continue reading Language!

Pardon the dark sarcasm... Understanding the wall takes a stretch of the imagination. No, not Pink Floyd’s masterpiece on two disc set, but the ten million dollar monstrosity meant to hug our southwestern hip. In searching for a meaningful reason for a ten million dollar wall, one might want to consider enchiladas. Think about those … Continue reading The Wall and Enchiladas