Look at all the lovely leaves... When greeted at the door with the statement, ‘look what your stupid mother did,’ I knew something was up. This statement wasn’t what a kid wanted to hear from a parent who should be old enough to know better. My parents had resumed their nomadic ways after a health … Continue reading The Suspicious Banana Leaf T-shirt

BOOM!... Saltpeter, traditionally derived from bat guano or horse urine, sulfur, and charcoal make gunpowder. Roll tightly in paper. Add a fuse. You have an explosive device that goes BOOM! Firecrackers are marketed to boys ages 8- 16 years old and men who behave like 8-16 year old boys. Bundled into strings, packs, rolls, or … Continue reading Gunpowder

The blush of a bride, the smile of the groom, all undone by the seating chart... Why can’t nations get along? I found the answer while making the seating chart for my daughter’s wedding. Real and imagined grievances had our family resemble the mayhem of Fight Club instead of the Waltons. If families couldn’t resolve … Continue reading Welcome to Fight Club

Oh, dear God, How strict are You on that love thy neighbor policy? Love thy neighbor, do I really have to? Couldn’t I love my dog instead? Yeah, I know dogs are easier except maybe when the four legged one barfs on the couch. Anyway, about that neighbor, it would be much easier with that … Continue reading The Love Thy Neighbor Policy

May your days be filled with umbrella drinks! I endured the rest of the year with the promise of a week of hedonistic bliss. My parents instilled this hedonism by taking our family on a ten day vacation to the beach. The only way we afforded the luxury of ten days was to sleep on … Continue reading Umbrella Drinks