Global Warming Caused by Earth Shaking Orbit to Move Closer to Sun, Honest

We honestly need to assess who’s got our backs…

We hit a new level of equal opportunity awful in our country. Congress passed the “Honest Act”, formerly known as “The Secret Science Reform Act”. Many associations, including asthma and lung health, public health in general, nurses, doctors, and also clean water, opposed the passage of this act. The Honest Act’s new name suits because the Environmental Protection Agency is now going to f*ck with your health, honest.

Supposedly, the “Honest Act” and its brother, “the EPA Science Advisory Board Reform Act”, are going to open up the way for fairer and unbiased science by allowing more industry presence on the Environmental Protection Agency board. People who stand to profit from some of the EPA’s policy decisions might be able to serve as long as they disclose that they own an oil company and want to run a pipeline through a drinking water source. I’ve heard they’re experts at this.

There was no mention as to what the Environmental Pillaging Agency (get used to the new name) would do after disclosure. I imagine they have a really big closet to stuff the conflicts into and then close the door.

The person in charge of the Environmental Pillaging Agency sued the EPA thirteen times in an effort to get around regulations that keep drinking water and air safe. By allowing more mercury, arsenic, and toxins into the environment, there would be fewer people to insure if we had national healthcare. Maybe this is the long term plan. We do live within an eggheaded paradigm of absurdities.

Separating church and state and citing from the best SCIENTIFIC source available, the Bible, the Environmental Pillaging Agent, quoted: “Joshua says to the people of Israel: choose this day whom you are to serve.” I should mention here that the earth poisoning antagonist has close ties to the fossil fuel industry. This leads me to believe that our government officials probably obtain their moral direction from the best sources possible, Playboy and Juggs.

The “Honest Act” was co-sponsored by a congressman who believes that rising sea levels are due to rocks falling into the ocean. There is a real phenomenon, discovered by a naked Greek, Archimedes, that involves water displacement. For this cockamamie theory to be true, 100 million pounds of rocks would have to be dumped into the ocean 66 million times every year to raise sea levels by its current rate of rise.

I Googled that fact because there was math involved. I know there are limits to my knowledge. I seek true answers from reliable people, who are smarter than me, so I don’t look stupid. I know these facts to be true because if the earth dropped 6.6 quadrillion pounds of earth into the ocean each year, I’d be living closer to the seashore. But on the other hand, there’s a lot of sixes in those equations. My facts may be the work of the devil.

Global warming is caused by earth shaking its orbit and traveling closer to the sun. This lie is more believable than the theory of giant rocks. Maybe I could be considered as an EPA advisor. If not, I can offer a set of rules that should be easier for the Exploitation Plutocrat Administration to follow.

  1. Money is thy God.
  2. Thou shall bow unto the dollar bill.
  3. Thou shall curse those who do not vainly worship money.
  4. The Sabbath day shall thou work thy manservant, thy maidservant, thy cattle, thy stranger. (Someone has to pay taxes.)
  5. Dishonor the land which the Lord thy God give thee.
  6. Thou shall kill all things on thy earth, in the air, and under the sea. (See # 1)
  7. Thou shall commit adultery.
  8. Thou shall steal in the form of tax rules that benefit only thee.
  9. Thou shall make up fake facts when the truth doesn’t serve thee.
  10. Thou shall covet thy neighbor’s house, wife, manservant, maidservant, ox, ass, and anything that is thy neighbor’s.

Here’s what you should take away from the “Honest Act” and the “EPA Science Advisory Board Reform Act”. Top scientists will be disqualified from advising on our health. Expert profit advocates of industry, paid for by the Environmental Pillaging Agency regulated companies, will take over with your health in mind and not profit. Honest.

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