Dances with Dire Wolves

Dire wolf- an extinct species…

Windows XP no longer provides support for my computer, no more updates. It might even blow itself up. Windows did provide a link to shop new computers, how convenient. I’m given support to spend my money.

“Our computer is old. Come out of the Stone Age.” My husband said.

There weren’t lap tops, cell phones, or video games in the Stone Age and for good reason. Prehistoric family put Rork on guard while they picked berries. Rork got caught up in a game of angry Pterodactylus and the gathering party trampled by a herd of Mammoths or eaten by Dire Wolves.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to hang onto my stone, I mean XP (whatever that means). I’ve worn my stone, I mean computer, to where I can work it efficiently. I’m supposed to throw it out for a new model and program that will slow my productivity?

The only people able to work new computer programs are the people who developed them or a seventeen year old computer genius who hacks national security as a hobby.

I don’t want to launch manned spaceships with my computer. I write a few pages, send emails, and research how much it would cost to keep a dragon as opposed to a Clydesdale, usual stuff. I’d sacrifice email. When a new program decides what’s for dinner, cooks it, washes dishes, and cleans dog poop out of the yard, then I’d want to buy it.

Stone Age tools did make ancient man a better hunter. Cave Art XP gave man the ability to record history and to learn from it. Rork, upon seeing less Camelops and Mammoths pictured, could’ve elbowed his buddy, Stim.

“Hey Stim, less Camelops and Mammoths pictured. We be greedy dummies, we starve.” But we know that didn’t happen. I’ve never dodged a North American camel or elephant in rush hour traffic.

When the Camelops and Mammoths died off, due to over hunting and climate change, the Saber tooth tigers and Dire Wolves also died off.

Smaller wolves survived only because they fetched things. Ancient humans saw benefits in servitude and corporations were born. Rork sat on his stone and wolf brought his stinky mammoth fur slippers.

The Giant Ground Sloth found it difficult to learn fetch. The Giant Ground Sloth was easy snack food. For this reason, I have a pet dog instead of a sloth. A sloth would’ve been easier to catch if it sneaked out the back door.

After the Stone Age, man pushed himself into the Bronze Age. People wore flea ridden woven textiles instead of flea ridden animal skin clothes. The first viable writing systems replaced cave art. Improved bronze tools were a boon to farming, but focus turned to better weapons.

In the Iron Age, alphabetic characters and written language enabled historic records to be kept. Man found it hard to learn from written words too. The Iron Age produced iron and steel weapons which gave man the ability to harvest food and each other in even greater numbers.

In less than two hundred years, mankind has developed technology to completely annihilate ourselves, initiated climate change, and mass extinctions. Life as we know it may end with Windows 13.

We’ve evolved so fast the common sense capability in our brains can’t catch up to actually learn anything. Computers could become obsolete if we devolve ourselves back into a Stone Age. Life may slow to the pace of a sloth traveling through the La Brea Tar Pits.

Cave Art XP won’t require a program or electricity.

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