Questions I’ve Asked Myself Since Practicing Home Confinement



Did I eat cake for breakfast again?

Is RumChata an acceptable substitute for coffee creamer?

The last time we zoomed, did my boss notice that my t-shirt read, “Fuck this shit.”?

If so, will she mention it when we return to work?

Do I care?

When was the last time I wore makeup?

Since when did second breakfast become a habit?

When was the last time I wore something other than sweatpants, t-shirts, or pajamas?

Has it really been two weeks since I saw my husband in pants?

Will I ever fit into my work pants when the time comes to return to the job?

It’s not lunchtime yet?

When was the last time I bathed?

Is the answer to the previous question the reason why the spouse is practicing physical distancing within our home?

Do I smell?

Does the dog notice?

When I run out of dog poop bags, what can I use?

Why am I not spring cleaning?

Do I own a pocket handkerchief should I run out of tissues?

When was the last day that I didn’t binge watch something?

What are socks?

Is it time for dinner?

Why am I not exercising with all my free time?

Since I’m out of milk, can I eat cookies with whipped cream vodka?

Why am I not making better use of my time?

Can people grow mold?

Do I have a flour-less recipe for cake?






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