The Love Thy Neighbor Policy

Oh, dear God,

How strict are You on that love thy neighbor policy? Love thy neighbor, do I really have to? Couldn’t I love my dog instead? Yeah, I know dogs are easier except maybe when the four legged one barfs on the couch.

Anyway, about that neighbor, it would be much easier with that love thing if she wasn’t so annoying. You very well know that You did not bless her with the greatest voice. So, why nudge her towards singing? That free will thing again, huh?

Well just so You know, I wish she wouldn’t sing. She’s ruined countless songs for me, Bad Medicine, Rock the Casbah, and much of Pink Floyd’s, The Wall. Her gravel scratching glass voice was never meant to sing Celine Dion’s theme song from Titanic either.

Yes, I know I try to sing some of those same songs, but only in my car with the windows rolled up. I wouldn’t think of subjecting my neighbors to my rendition of I See Fire because You didn’t grant me a pleasant singing voice. I’m okay with that. You’ve given me other talents for which I’m thankful. It’s a joy to belt out a song that moves me.

Oh, I get it.

Couldn’t You bless her with discretion though?

If not, could You move me to a few acres with singing crickets? I like the sound of crickets.

Oh, all right, I give. I’ll practice tolerance and patience. You’re pushing me here. As You well know, patience ranks up there with my singing voice as not one of my strong suits.

Yeah, yeah, it’s like building muscles, you’ve got to use them to make them stronger. I think my neighbor is going to turn me into the Hulk. Green’s not my best color. Alright, I’ll stop complaining now.

Oh goody, she does country songs too. Here comes  hard rock meets Dolly Parton. Building tolerance and patience muscles now. Feel the burn.

Hey thanks, (for nothing)

Heard that, huh?

I’m sorry. Forgive my whiny humanness.

Hey thanks, for real this time.



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