Little beige Cobalt doesn’t have the same ring as little red Corvette…

Your cruising days are definitely over if…

1. Your ride is beige.
2. The stereo in your car came with the car.
3. You need the trunk for groceries which leaves no room for a box with multiple speakers.
4. The radio volume is turned way down. You’re trying to preserve what hearing you have left.
5. The soundtrack to The Greatest Showman doesn’t have the bad-ass impact of AC/DC.
6. The only modification to the car is a bumper sticker that proclaims “Beach Bum”.
7. You must stay awake until it’s dark. In the summer, that means no 9 p.m. bedtime.
8. The friend you call to go cruising doesn’t want to miss the season finale of her TV show.
9. Another friend is babysitting the grandkids.
10. None of your other friends can stay up past 9 p.m.
11. Your car rattles and shakes when you go over the speed limit.
12. Driving over 60 mph is scary.
13. There’s no point in burning the rubber off of perfectly good tires.
14. Cool shades have been replaced by clunky goggles that fit over your eyeglasses to reduce road glare.
15. You can’t start the car without a key fob. Now where did you put it?
16. While you’re out, may as well pick up the prescriptions at the pharmacy and stop at Walmart.
17. A cruise ship with an all you can eat buffet is more appealing than driving a car to a burger joint or a steak house.
18. If you eat anything after 7 p.m., you’ll be up all night.
19. After two beers, Uber must drive you home.
20. You really don’t care if anyone sees you driving.