Little beige Cobalt doesn’t have the same ring as little red Corvette…
Your cruising days are definitely over if…
- Your ride is beige.
- The stereo in your car came with the car.
- You need the trunk for groceries which leaves no room for a box with multiple speakers.
- The radio volume is turned way down. You’re trying to preserve what hearing you have left.
- The soundtrack to The Greatest Showman doesn’t have the bad-ass impact of AC/DC.
- The only modification to the car is a bumper sticker that proclaims “Beach Bum”.
- You must stay awake until it’s dark. In the summer, that means no 9 p.m. bedtime.
- The friend you call to go cruising doesn’t want to miss the season finale of her TV show.
- Another friend is babysitting the grandkids.
- None of your other friends can stay up past 9 p.m.
- Your car rattles and shakes when you go over the speed limit.
- Driving over 60 mph is scary.
- There’s no point in burning the rubber off of perfectly good tires.
- Cool shades have been replaced by clunky goggles that fit over your eyeglasses to reduce road glare.
- You can’t start the car without a key fob. Now where did you put it?
- While you’re out, may as well pick up the prescriptions at the pharmacy and stop at Walmart.
- A cruise ship with an all you can eat buffet is more appealing than driving a car to a burger joint or a steak house.
- If you eat anything after 7 p.m., you’ll be up all night.
- After two beers, Uber must drive you home.
- You really don’t care if anyone sees you driving.