The U.S. Plan for Averting a Climate Crisis

We ALL need to work TOGETHER not just US…

In 2030 or maybe 2050, if we still have a livable planet, the White House plans to send an equally divided delegation of Republicans and Democrats to the Nevada desert. The delegation awaits the arrival of aliens.

            The aliens disembark from their spaceship and make a generous offer to take our excess carbon dioxide and restore Earth’s atmospheric balance to prevent climate disaster.

            Republicans ask, “What climate crisis? Do you believe in God and guns? Where do you stand on abortion?”

            The banter leads the aliens to look upon the Republicans as a single organism drawing on one collective brain.

            The Democrats form committees for discussions. “Even aliens should have inalienable rights, but not assault rifles.” A Democrat says.

            “Wait a minute. No alien is getting anything for free especially any rights, but you can’t take his guns.” A Republican says.

            Disregarding the mission’s purpose, the delegates bicker and haggle over what to charge the aliens and/or if we indeed should charge them. Having more money than God and 99% of the people who voted for them, one party considers only their corporate backers and themselves in their decisions. If any decisions are made, the point is mute because actual plans end in a stalemate with the greater good never being served.

            The representatives then resort to name calling, accusations, blame, and finger pointing demonstrating to the alien delegation the U.S.’s version of an exemplary public servant. When all is said and done, everything is said and nothing is done.

            The U.S. future leader, with at least half a brain, steps in and realizes the need for cooperation with other nations. Salvation lies with a former teenage, Swedish girl named Greta, who also may or may not be considered an alien. This depends on whether we’ve all gotten over ourselves enough to consider ourselves as Earthlings.

            Greta arrives in the nick of time on the fuel guzzling, pollutant producing Air Force One. The slight young woman is the only person with enough gumption to shake hands on the offered deal before the aliens roll their eyes and leave.

            Seriously, no joke, that’s the U.S. climate crisis plan. Rest easy world, we’ve got this.

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