Doomsday for Sasquatch

Will they be doomed before they are discovered?…

I wanted the truth to the question “do Sasquatch and mermaids exist.” I refused to believe humans were considered the only intelligent species on earth.

What was an eastern land locked resident to do for research to find answers to my question? I concluded I’d watch documentaries about Sasquatch and mermaids.

Finding credible programs on Sasquatch proved challenging. I weeded through shows disregarding crackpots, clearly tripping on hallucinogenic drugs who experienced hairy, smelly creatures that reminded them of their neighbor Bill. In most instances, Sasquatch turned out to be their neighbor Bill. I was also skeptic of the man who claimed Yetis, the cold climate version of Sasquatch, had faster speech than teenage girls. That was impossible.

When I walked in the woods with intentions of photographing wildlife, I didn’t wear corduroys or perfume. I also didn’t take a case of beer, chairs, many friends, and especially not my sister whose phone alarm went off every time her village was raided in the game she played online.

Likewise, if Sasquatch hunters dragged 500 pounds of sound, lights, and camera equipment that reeked of human, and if they didn’t wear scent lock clothing and douse themselves in deer urine to hide their scent, I gave the program a pass. I also passed on searchers who practiced hollering and tree knocking.

It was alleged that Sasquatch communicated with their kin by banging on trees and yelling in the forest. This was not much different than communication among me and my siblings as we ran amok in our neighborhood as kids. We banged on pots and yelled, “Get your butt home and do the dishes or you’re toast.” This was self explanatory specie to specie communication.

Interspecies communication was trickier. Take the duck call. Blow on it. Ducks answer and fly to you. We know ducks exist. We’ve studied many ducks and their calls.          With Sasquatch hollering or knocking how could you be sure that an answer to a call wasn’t another team of Sasquatch hunters with 500 pounds of equipment hollering and banging on trees? How did searchers know what they were saying in tree language? The searchers could be communicating, “Bunch of humans here to exploit your asses, better run like hell.”

I put my faith in DNA samples gathered from the area of sightings and cross matched by scientists. Excellent communication, cooperation skills, and high intelligence were needed if a small officially undocumented segment of society were to remain undocumented.

The results were disappointing; bear, deer, horse, wolf, raccoon, and cow. A cow in the remote forest mistaken for an upright, hairy creature, really?

Clarifying the existence of mermaids was easier. Ninety-five percent of the oceans remained unexplored. Sophisticated equipment such as scuba gear, sonar, and submersibles guaranteed at least a few scientists alongside the general public with cameras. Mermaids didn’t leave footprints that were easily faked.

I found one documentary with actual film footage of mermaid-like beings, previously undocumented skeletal remains, many excited scientists, confiscation of previously undocumented skeletal remains, many pissed off scientists, and more than a hint of a cover-up.

A scientist spent years of their life in study to get a degree and to build a credible reputation. Why would a scientist build an esteemed career and then risk it all to fake a sea being? The answer; because the scientists were actors and the documentary was deemed a hoax.

I had my version of a scientific reason why we had no scientific ruling on the existence of Sasquatch. If giant, intelligent beings lived in our forests, we’d have to stop destroying wild places. If mermaid-like beings existed, we probably shouldn’t poison them and our oceans if we considered ourselves intelligent, ethical beings. Proof of existence meant no more pillaging, plundering, or using earth as a toilet.

Unless we become mindful of how we live, we’re all doomed. I have the truth. There’s less intelligent life on earth than what I first believed.

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