Table For One

In honor of our labors…

Normal is…getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to the job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car, and especially, the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it.-Ellen Goodman

            The king and queen owned a castle (not actually a castle, no turrets or moat), but the pool did have a rock waterfall. The castle floors were marble. The furniture was custom. Multiple bedrooms with full bathrooms, an office, laundry room, exercise room, a game room for the electronic variety of games, a bar with a pool table, three living rooms, a master suite including walk-in closets, and rooms without purpose, rounded out the palace. Three stalls housed the royals’ steeds.  

            By far, the most stand-out feature in the castle was the eight places to eat a meal. The options bypassed many restaurants. There was the bar for the pub experience adjacent to the pub tables in the corner overlooking the picnic table on the porch next to the intimate table for two by the pool. Upstairs the breakfast bar faced away from the eat-in kitchen table, which overlooked another intimate table for two on the upper deck.

            The most elegant option was the main banquet room. The dining table staged miniature Hollywood sets upon the expansive table with flowers, candles, and an attic’s worth of baubles and doodads according to the day of the week, holiday, or season.

            The castle housed the king, queen, and prince who readied his stead to set off to make his fortunes. Every morning the queen breezed out the door after the king. The royals spent a lot of time at work keeping the castle and expanded their kingdom to a second castle on a lake. (Seriously, this narrator would’ve sold the turretless abode to dwell happily and simply in a hovel on a pond. I would’ve disliked dusting all the stuff.)

            But alas, the king and queen put their castle on the market. The profit was split in the divorce proceedings. (true story)

            So I ask, “What good were eight dining options if no one ever sat down to share a fucking meal?”

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